Clear Communication to Increase Intimacy in the Golden Years
As we get older, our physical and emotional needs begin to change to some degree. In order to continue enjoying life's many facets despite our aging bodies and evolving lifestyles, it is important to communicate clearly about our needs and feelings. Being open and direct will facilitate positive conversations about interest in physical intimacy and increase intimacy in the long run.
Our Interest in Sex Evolves Over Time
Most people don't lose interest in sex as they get older. Instead, their views sometimes change. Instead of a rushed approach to intimacy, they find themselves at a stage in life where they're not ruled by their libido, but can slow down and relax to better enjoy a romantic interlude. The kids are grown, finances are under control, and retirement may lead to some exciting new opportunities. Life looks better than ever before, and now there is more time to relax and smell the roses, and that includes the potential for an enhanced physical relationship between two people whose lives are intertwined and bonded with love and trust. In youth, sex is often about reaching the end as quickly as possible. Although some couples slow down and enjoy the journey, others rush to the destination. This works at this stage of life when juggling a demanding career, growing children, and an ever-changing life cycle. Sex can become routine, strained and commonplace. Many find it boring and not worth the bother.
Increase Intimacy By Opening Up the Lines of Communication
There are several distinct advantages to aging when it comes to physical intimacy. One is life experience. Navigating life for several decades, with or without a spouse and children, teaches you many things about yourself and others. You learn what you like or don't like and what pleases the people you care about. You also learn the basic tools of building a relationship as well as what tears one down. By the time retirement rolls around, you have a pretty good idea of what you want out of life and from your partner. Just as important, you've gained enough confidence to explain it to that person, and to navigate a relationship that may be serene and turbulent by turns.
In addition to being forthright about how you feel and your likes or dislikes, you have more understanding about other points of view. If a partner prefers to do things differently than you do, there may be ways to compromise or find common ground in order to satisfy both of you. Instead of merely valuing sex as an isolated commodity, you realize it's part of a bigger package. There may be other traits in your partner that make the relationship worth preserving, even if the sex isn't what it used to be, or what you would like it to be. Perhaps that is true for you, as well. If you don't have the same interest as your partner, he or she might be willing to maintain the relationship because you are appreciated wholly, and not just as a sex partner.
As you reach the golden years, you may want to experience physical intimacy differently than in your younger days. You might be more adventurous, or less so. You may want to talk more openly about sex than you were willing to in the past, and tell your partner what you want whereas before perhaps you were a passive recipient rather than an active player. This is a great time to not only talk about your desires, but to express them physically and demonstrate them to your loved one, and invite him or her to do the same. By now you have built a considerable amount of patience in your life-long journey. You know that disappointment is part of life. Sometimes, maybe increasingly, body parts don't work the way we want them to. Sex may take longer and be more enjoyable than ever before. You might want to try new techniques if the former ones aren't as effective as they used to be. Experiment with new lingerie, positions, locations and wordplay to enhance these passionate moments. You'll be thrilled by the excitement of a renewed outlook on sex that you never dreamed possible.
Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help
If, however, problems develop, don't shy away from asking for help to increase intimacy. For many couples, counseling allows them to discuss contributory issues that may be undermining their sex life. They may need to work on serious problems before they can comfortably enjoy physical intimacy. A medical checkup may diagnose physical problems that can be addressed, such as erectile dysfunction or declining hormone levels that reduces libido. The doctor may be able to prescribe medications or treatments that can address problems like these, and natural supplements like maca can also help.
Clear communication, patience, experimentation, and if needed, professional assistance all can help to make sex more enjoyable than ever. If it is an important part of your relationship, set aside some time to work on the issues and develop skills or techniques that will enhance this part of your life.