Sex. It’s hard to imagine an activity that is more enjoyable and pleasurable, unless of course, you’re not “in the mood.” We all have busy, stress-filled days. If after a long day at the office, preparing dinner and listening to a screaming baby doesn’t get you in the mood, you’re not alone. Everyone has that night when one partner is ready to go and all the other one can think about is sleep. “Not tonight, hon. I’ve got a headache.” Here are some low libido causes that can drown your passion. If you or your partner have a “headache” every night, it’s time to look at what may be causing it!

Low Libido Causes to Look Out For


Stress is a huge player in lowering your sex drive. It seems hard enough to make sure you get to work on time with project in-hand after fixing breakfast for your kids and dropping them off at school. You also have cable bills, cellphone bills, car payments and mortgages to pay. Plus, there’s always the stress your in-laws bring. Then your car breaks down or your air conditioner goes out. Whew. Just listing daily responsibilities is stressful. Address the low libido causes like stress in your life. Delegate responsibilities. Try aromatherapy. Practice daily yoga or some other form of meditation to get your mind calm, clear and ready for bedroom fun.


Exhaustion can go hand-in-hand with stress, but it’s its own animal and is also high on the list of low libido causes. Late nights and early mornings take their toll on a body and sap your energy. Minds can’t think as sharp. Bodies don’t perform the way they should. If chronic pain is keeping you awake, seek medical advice. If you stayed up late catching up on the latest episode of The Walking Dead, do yourself a favor and push the “off” button on the remote.

Weight Gain

Added pounds make it harder for your heart to pump blood to parts of the body the way it should, and the increased pressure around sex organs can actually put too much stress on them. Add in the fact that many people suffer from low self-esteem issues when they gain weight, and it’s easy to see why weight gain affects sexual activity and is one of the top low libido causes. If you don’t feel good physically or mentally, it’s hard to get naked with someone and roll around between the sheets.


Alcohol certainly lowers your inhibitions. It lets you talk to new people and try new things (in or out of the bedroom), but too many drinks can lower your sex drive. Drinking excessively can reduce sexual responses for both genders. For men, it’s harder to get and maintain an erection. For women, it’s harder to orgasm.

Relationship Resentment

low sex driveIt’s hard to have a healthy sex life when your relationship isn’t relaxed. Unlike other low libido causes where your partner can alleviate some of the stress, relationship resentment can be much more heated and personal. If you two can’t resolve the issue, try to get outside help. Read some marital help books for minor issues. For deeper or more complex issues, you may need to speak with a marriage professional.


There are many factors involved with aging that may lower your sex drive, including the previous categories of stress, exhaustion and weight gain. As you age, hormones fluctuate and your body changes. Of course, no one has found a fountain of youth yet. Fortunately, a healthy diet, exercise and choice supplements can help tremendously.


If you’ve lost interest in your once-great sex life, you may need to speak with your doctor. Losing interest in things you once enjoyed is among several indicators that you may suffer from depression. If no other factors like medical conditions or major life events exist, you could benefit from a trip to the doctor's office. Review this list. Can you identify one of these low libido causes that might contribute to your sexless nights? If it will help, talk to your partner to see if they’ve noticed a difference in your bedroom habits. Try to change some parts of your lifestyle. Sex is great for a relationship. The more you do it, the better you feel and the more you want it. Conversely, when you and your partner aren’t enjoying that pleasurable nighttime activity, it hurts you and your relationship.

By guest contributor Danielle Jackson

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